10 Commandments.

As an assignment for my Honors 201 class as we study the Old Testament, we had to write our own ten commandments. I decided I'd put my own spin on the ever cliche first date rules. I wrote this in 30 minutes, but I love the way it turned out regardless. Enjoy!

1. Thou shall be on time.

This is absolutely crucial. In fact, you should not only be on time, but you should be at least five minutes early. The person you’re going on the date with is already going to be anxious enough; showing up late will have them sweating bullets. So, if you have any interest at all in your fellow dater, you will do them the common courtesy of respecting the time the two of you decided on. If you have some sort of car trouble and absolutely MUST be late, call them. Let them know that you’re not leaving them hanging on purpose. It’s only polite, and you’d want the same courtesy.

2. Thou shall look decent, smell nice, and dress for the occasion.

It’s as easy as this: shower at least 24 hours before the date, and make sure the clothes you wear are clean, neat, and free of holes. This isn’t a lot to ask, and will definitely go over much better with your date than if you showed up looking like you were taking them panhandling. This by no means is to suggest that you should cake on the cologne or perfume, or wear layers of makeup. Dress nicely, but not overly so, like it says, for the occasion. No guy wants a girl with a faceful of heavy clown makeup, and no girl wants her guy to show up smelling like he bathed in aftershave. Moderation is key.

3. Thou shall let the boy be a gentleman.

I know this may seem like it doesn’t need to be said, that most of you are probably thinking a big, loud DUH. However, it’s a lot more common than it seems. Don’t hurry to the door before him if he seems to be eager to hold it open for you. Guys really do enjoy showing the public that you’re their date, contrary to popular belief. Don’t pretend like you want to pay or ask how much you owe him if he takes the bill, instead, say thank you and make it known that you appreciate their thoughtfulness. Don’t EXPECT these things of your guy; instead allow them to surprise you. It’ll keep the both of you smiling.

4. Thou shall be yourself.

This is a dating cliché. Everyone says it, and almost no one does it on the first date. Instead of pretending to like his favorite band or looking up his favorite team on Wikipedia and memorizing the stats, don’t pretend to be an expert. He’ll get a kick out of telling you all about his favorite things, and you can in turn fill him in on yours. Respecting your date’s interests doesn’t mean making them your own. You don’t want to date yourself; that’s the reason why you’re out with someone else. So let them be different from you, and embrace all that you have to learn from each other.

5. Thou shall not be an expensive date.

If a guy takes you out, most likely, they’re going to pay. It’s just the way things go. This is very kind of him; so in return, do NOT go all out. I’m not telling you to order a side salad and water and starve, however, you should never find it appropriate to order filet mignon, dessert, an expensive drink, and so on. Keep it simple. Again, moderation is your best friend here.

6. Thou shall not reveal your entire life story.

If you have any intention at all of creating a relationship from this first date, I am begging you to show a little mystery. Obviously, there’s a lot to cover on the first date, and you’re bound to end up talking about your family, friends, and some funny stories along the way. Don’t get into your deepest secrets, or tell them things you’d only entrust to a best friend. In a successful relationship, you learn something new about your partner everyday. If you tell them almost everything there is to know on the first date, what’s the use in pursuing you? Take your time introducing them to your life.

7. Thou shall ask thy date questions about themselves.

This goes hand in hand with the last one. As opposed to talking about yourself the whole date, ask your date about themselves: who their friends are, what they like to do on the weekends, all the basics. These will lead to tangents, fun facts, and stories that will have both of you in stitches. In this way, you can both get to know each other equally.

8. Thou shall not text while on the date.

Period. AT ALL. Not even a quick text under the table to your best friend telling her how hot he is. Texting or talking on the phone while with someone is like saying you’d rather be anywhere but there with them. They should be your only designation for attention, and you should be focused on getting to know them. You can’t do this if you’re carrying on a text conversation as well. Put that phone away in your purse and turn it on silent. You won’t regret it.

9. Thou shall not be gross.

Sometimes I’m sorry this even has to be said. Just like you should bathe and look nice for the date, you should also use the basic manners you learned as a kindergarten student. Don’t be rude to waiters or attendants of any kind, chew with your mouth closed, and if you must burp, at least say excuse me. Try to hold in any gas until you’re a little more comfortable around each other, and take smaller bites of food. You don’t want to turn someone away simply because you looked like a caveman when you were stuffing your face. It’s okay to talk between bites and pace yourself.

10. Thou shall not be clingy after just one date.

Just as you should keep your mystery on the first date, you should also not throw yourself in headfirst when the date is over. No matter how well it went, no one is going to like being called every couple hours just to talk. There’s no harm in sending them nice texts or calling them a few times a week, as this will help you to better get to know them. Keep asking questions, but don’t get too personal too fast. Dating is a game, whether we like it or not, and it takes time to play it out. Even if your heart bursts at the mere sound of their name, keep your head on your shoulders. Infatuation is hard to hold in, so let it drive you, but don’t let it take you over.

Noise.

Are you aware of the way the air envelopes the world around you?

Call it a case of the Mondays, but I'm more or less down and out. Premonition is an unwelcomed gift. Have you ever felt like something is about to go terribly wrong? Or perhaps the process has already started. Maybe it's as simple as bad news. It could be a loss of interest or an unrequited gain; it could be a failing grade or misunderstanding. A silver lining falls in the form of the future. No one can tell it for certain. I, for one, am bent on making my own happiness at every turn life throws. This feeling is more of a challenge to my will, and I'm finding new ways to overcome it with every trough. Don't wish for winter just yet. Don't count yourself out or make yourself too busy. There's too much life to be lived in the simple spare moments you take for granted. I fit my days around them. I'll fill my vision with new faces and old faces in new light. Don't let this chance pass you by; life is just waiting to supply you with a pleasant, unlikely surprise. Fight for it. It's yours if you don't turn your head.

Even pounding music some floors down couldn't shake this. I talk myself into strength and find my days amended. The floors, walls, and ceiling of this square are beating like a drum set. Other can be a nuisance, but find your light in them anyways. That annoying neighbor who sleeps with the TV on or the one who enjoys some intense boyfriend "cuddling" on a seemingly endless basis: they may make us want to pull out every hair on our head, but we'd never know peace if we didn't know their disturbance. So smile when you'd rather be bashing faces, and look fifteen minutes into the future. We take too much for granted. Noise is around to cover the thoughts we need not waste our time with, and silence lets us delve into them. There is a time for everything.

I saw you last night, and the words you told me will never leave my mind.

"Sometimes fun can lead you to great places. Don't grow up too fast."

I'd missed your voice. It was good to see you.

Breaking Blocks.

I really hate it when I want nothing more than to write and the words will NOT come out for the life of me. My solution to this problem is to start by writing about how I can't think about what to write. This could be terrible or turn into something mildly readable. Fingers crossed for the latter? Yes? Yes.

Today fall set in for me. You would think the past weeks of jacket weather and rain would have tipped me off, but my body was oblivious. My eyes didn't connect cracks in pavement to the telltale reds and yellows enveloping every inch of nature. Some days, all it takes is five extra minutes of walking and a set of eyes lifted from the ever-elusive footprint soon to be made. How often do you look down? Everything's happening ahead of you. Settling for misery as you greet air one temperature too cold is the easy way out. I've taken to t-shirts in makeshift ten degrees and light footsteps. I could pass off credit, but I'm not too quick to bet it all. Risk takers and moneymakers are really just optimists in business casual.

Cold bites skin red as it pales from lack of exposure. This is not the antithesis of beauty. You wear your accessories like a part of you and I for one can't find an uninteresting aspect about you. October's vice is curiosity. No matter how it may apply to you, remember this: take chances. Ask a question you normally wouldn't, just for the thrill. White picket fences might be ideal, but I've never been a big fan of that which is safe. You are given to youth to redefine it, so for God's sake, do your part. Go crazy for life before it gets away from you. It will.

If morning's too cold, use every blanket you own. Wake up five minutes before you leave and wear what you slept in. Make up is not a necessity. Just one of the guys; never did sound like a punishment to me. School nights and weekend nights blur. Study with your motivation 4 inches to your left. Get the grades and go out. The best part about forgetting to do a big paper until the night before is the way you feel when you're done. You are capable of pages without even knowing it.

Everyone's worth a chance. Who is yours coming from?

There's nothing like knowing a week is about to completely knock you off balance and with that in mind, not caring at all if it does. I really can't see anything but shades of green, anyway. Coincidentally, it's getting harder and harder to come by these days as the red and orange of this season I've always loved take over. My mind's lost out the window on days where most people don't want to be outside.

Week.

I wronged you, you wronged me. Consider us even. I owe you nothing. Hope this is what you wanted, because at this point, it'll never be any other way. This is a sideways approach to what I am attempting to make truth.

You intrigue me in most ways. The ability to carry on a conversation is the easiest way to captivate attention; consider me your audience. This new life of mine is nothing I could've set out in scrapbook pages of everyday life, but I'd never want to live that way. I get down, but you don't let me. I could get used to living like this.

You need to know that you really came through for me this week. I saw a fire in your eyes that I haven't seen in awhile, and I was very near tears at the sight of you. I am so proud to be around you, and when you don't chase your light out, it's hard to believe that anyone else could shine as bright as you. I understand now what you are capable of. A little easy living never hurt anyone. You have your things in check and a lot on your mind, but the person I love has never left. We'll always be two halves of a whole. I like it best like that. You keep me honest.

I'm realizing that in the face of hurt, you are dared to shine. When nothing seems right, everything in life is begging you to make your own happiness. I never turn down a dare. If I have to make the sun from scraps of yellow construction paper, I'll hang it somewhere everyone can see it. I'll never settle for personal happiness when I believe there's enough to go around. Lean on me.

I am so proud of you. Emotion is healthy, and you're not too tough to know that. Watching you grow into the adult you are now has been such a privilege. I have a lot of faith in you. Heal at your own speed, and carry him with you every single day you live. That laugh will make your days lighter. I don't know if you know that you are one of my heroes.

I know who I love. Family is one of the most important things in life. Spending weekend nights watching movies with the people who have known you for every single one of your waking days is hardly the definition of wasted time. I want so much for myself because of the four of you. I couldn't have gotten luckier, and I am so thankful to be stuck with you.

Don't forget to remember. Crying will keep you healthy. Smiling will keep you young. This life thing is so much better than everyone makes it out to be.

When you have nothing else to live for, live for yourself.
Because you deserve every second.<3

Someone worth missing.

Words cannot describe the moment after that phone hangs up. The second before that first tear falls, all you can think is no, not him. Please God, make him call back and say everything's okay.

Then reality sets in, if you let it.

That boy I knew since he was just over double digits and I was still shy of them. The boy that became a fixture in my house for a majority of my life. I always called you my big brother, because I didn't know anyone could be as protective as my own brother, but you were. My very first Homecoming dance had me going with a boy I liked, and you said you were going to sit on my front porch with a gun. No boy was good enough for me in the two of you's eyes because that's what big brothers do. I saw you on spring break, four boys just hanging out, yet still not too cool for their little sisters. You'd invite us out to sit with you while you told your stories.

This is what I thought of.

Reality cannot scratch these from my mind, and I'd never let it. I don't understand why you had to leave. I know it's said that God works in mysterious ways, so I'm searching for His light. On the day where Betty, who left this earth last April, would have celebrated his seventeenth birthday. He would be basking in the rays of the R rated movie screens, and you would be laughing like you always were. You never did let me take myself too seriously. One day, you stumbled up two flights of stairs just to tell me we were going to get married one day. I remember telling you, "Of course we are; you'd scare off anyone else I tried to marry!" Then I led you by the arm back down to the basement while you tried to fall headfirst on all those stairs.

Because I knew you, I can smile.

You liked to have a good time, and that's how I'm going to remember you. I'm going to remember fist fights you let me win and rides in my brothers car. I'm going to remember the way you called us family, and meant it. I'm going to remember believing in you. It's hard not to focus on the justice you haven't gotten, and how dare that man or woman run away. But although they took you from us, I still got nearly a decade of good years to know you. That is a gift. You really did make me stronger, and I'm a better person from the years I could call you my big brother. No one can take away the things you taught me. For that, I am thanking every star in heaven, including the one you find your home on now.

5/30/87- 10/5/09
Andrew, I'm going to miss you so much. I'll carry you with me every day. I love you, my second big brother. Thank you for blessing my life. I can't wait until the day I get to see you again. < 3

For we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him.
Even when it's hard to understand. My prayers go out to everyone mourning.

Truth.

I know that I'm not exactly known for this brand of honesty, but I'm giving it a shot in the name of this month and what I feel.

When you walked into that one motorcycle, one makeshift table, several bodied room, my heart skipped a beat.

Just so you know, I don't take anything back. Those words may have been dancing in the bubbles I took in, but when my mind cleared, I remembered every single second. Do you know how badly I didn't want to leave that spot on the floor?

You wouldn't want this anyway.
But if you did, I know I'd let you.

I say.

You said, "Have you ever felt like you were losing the most important person in your life?"
Well I'd tell you, "Every time you walk away"
If it would make you stay.
But I know it won't
So I tell your back that I love you
And will you to be okay,
But will you find your way?