Heart Rate.

I forget how to purge; my mind was sanctuary. Now the music's blowing speakers and my ears can't shake the ringing.

This body shakes behind hands that can barely cling to my long lost friend. There's so much to worry about when you forget how to let go. Where will I go? What is perfection? I scarcely close my eyes for fear of the other side. I haven't sorted this out in so long that the paths are covered in leaves. I'll do my best to trample them under my unsteady feet.

I look in your eyes and I see a ticking time bomb. Your therapy is my catalyst, and I spend my ride squeezing the blood flow from my extremities. I can't expedite my troubles to the common sources of fog. Too often I pray for a clear mind to further overcast my vision.

You're my light source. Living in a clear mind, prone to worry, but blissfully youthful in the best way imaginable. So I strike when I'm fighting for air, and turn my fear to anger. I'd lose my mind without your sun. Shine like I aim to. Shine because you mean it.

Overcast, overcast, overcast. Calm before the storm. Your fuse is running short and I can see the spark igniting. I ask the same question far too often for fear it'll come true. It's wrong to beg that it won't be you, but I do it as often as I think to.

You trouble my mind, but I let it. I trouble my mind because I have a sickness. Every writer's dream. Yet I threw away my favorite ear when it overcame me most. I'd do anything not to admit this fuel. This is the last thing I want to spend my words on. I hate the way my breath catches in my throat. I hate believing in mortality. I have so many questions and the most trustworthy answer, but my ears are still ringing. You're shouting at me but it can't break through.

So here I am, breaking my lungs to scream to you. Letting my own ears remember my voice. I'm not a tower of strength, and my mind won't do the trick. But you can. A secret let out, two understanding ears, and an admission of weakness. I am not anxiety. I can always be who I am in the sunshine.