Light In Me.

I want the world to see that you put the light in me.

This is unlike anything I've ever experienced. My heart feels like it could burst at any minute; my eyes spontaneously fill with tears. Yet I wear these badges not as a symbol of heartbreak; I wear them as the proud owner of a heart that is healed. I don't remember the last time I was proud to advertise my faith, proud to use God's name in every day conversation. I wish I lived each day that's past, waking up and telling myself "this is the day that the Lord has made!" I've spent my life scraping by, holding onto the off chance that my Sunday faith would be enough to lead me to a new life when my eyes close. I didn't want God to be my friend; I wanted him to be the guy I sang about once a week and swallowed soon after.

Ah, but God has a plan, and it was far from my own. In a world of neatly lined priorities, he fell somewhere toward the back. Despite this disregard, he called me to be His servant, and I quickly accepted, excited for a weekend of godliness that I was sure would fade when I got home. Like I said- His plan is far from my own.

God brought me to life in 72 hours. He showed me who I am at the core of myself- and that person is proud to have Christ in her heart. I have a yearning to not only call myself a Christian, but to make God my friend. I want to chat with Him like I so often forget to and use the joy he's placed in my heart to better the world around me. I want to be unashamed to jam to Christian radio and dance to Christian songs. I'm the same old me, but it suddenly feels like there's 25 hours in the day. I can be the old me and welcome this new me without any issue. God made me a beautiful person, and I want to do my best never to waste the gift he gave me. My faith used to be an afterthought- now it's the setting to my days, the way I wake up, fall asleep, and go through my day. I have a permanent reason to smile.

"This spark, this shot to the heart- you are the hope that leads me out of the dark. You let your love shine down so that the world can see that you put the light in me."