Attention Spanned.

This is promising to be an interesting few weeks. Time is money and I have plenty of both, neither of which I am unwilling to spend. I have a fire for a best friend that will never be just that, and an absence of feeling where my heart is supposed to flutter. And yet, I'm so excited. Could I tell you what for? Nothing but life, really. Nothing but unplanned quirks and set in stone quicksand. I feel as alive as I did when my heart followed suit. I take mine with one or two on the side for good measure.

One teenage memory is fast approaching; I could care less.

I can't recall a thing that I have made certainty out of, and yet, the mystery of it all is exactly what has my feet racing towards the latter part of the calendar. I can tell you that I if I had my best friend and a grocery bag of essentials, I would have enough. I'm anxious for the seasons to change. I'm itching to get away from everything I know. It's always a wonder when you find out who misses you. I'd like to take you with me. Let's drive like we said we would back then, but it's been autumn since the day that I met you. I am eighteen and invincible. I am eighteen and breakable. I am eighteen and living. The recipes for happiness and disaster are really only a pinch of salt different.

I'm headed to showcase the brain I got and maybe didn't deserve on a stomach that can't take much today. If I hadn't come in late, I'd pack up early. I ran out of new episodes of my favorite show, so maybe I'll start from the beginning again. Maybe instead I'll work on the song that's kicking my ass. Your song. I never have written one in completion, and the thrill is mounting and overwhelming at points. I've been singing, and you'd be proud. Soon enough you'll hear my voice. It's shy like the me I left behind, or at least keep in my back pocket. But it is honest. I guess it always has been a personal point of strength, one I lose when words connect to vocal chords, but I take it all the same. Paper will be the honesty shyness can't deliver. I'll take it like that. I like it like that.

Oh, but I'm making a fool of someone; I wish I was sorry. We'll call it a time passer, placeholder. Who says that? Still not sorry. So much is missing, but I've got a surplus. I'm playing slight of hand, but the payoff's worth it. My favorite song is thirty seconds long and twenty-nine seconds longer than my attention span. I want some new shoes. Just saying.

Oh the things we do when we're young and it's worth it. I'm completely in love with this thing called life.