Love Letter.

Time and memory seem to be two things that I interlace and keep close, always. I measure love, pain, healing, and excitement within the realm of time, inside it lying the memories I made. They're precious, and I have a lot of trouble letting them fade, or at least letting the feeling associated with them fade with time. Why do I still feel everything like it's still happening? I can think back to summer time and fall in love all over again, but this time my side's empty and I'm in love with nothing but a memory. I can think back to the day adulthood caught up with me, when I learned that I could be happier than I thought I could ever be.

It's only love, lust, and longing I can feel all over again. Why can't I peel back the layers of hurt, expose myself to pain again? The only way I do is by hurting over the memories of loving and losing. Seems I always do lose, but it hasn't stopped me from chugging right along. I guess you could say I'm feeling nostalgic today. I lost everything a month ago tomorrow. I met you a year ago in a few days. I met you half a year ago. Two reasons my life has known love and total hurt, and they're both living and breathing, holding piece of my heart to this day. So many firsts, two sources. I miss you both every day. I miss loving you, but even more, I miss you loving me. I know that's the past now, so pardon me for my occasional walks down memory lane. I love the scenery and it seems to be one of my favorite ways of passing time.

All you should know, is that lying next to you was heaven, and the way you looked at me when you though I didn't notice felt better than any vocalized sweet nothings. Is it blasphemous to write a reminiscent love letter with two recipients? You've had all of me. In both cases, it wasn't good enough. But at the end of the day, no matter how much you hurt me, or how much you took from me, I still deeply care about you. I'd still do anything to see you smile or help you out, and I still wish you the best of complete happiness. I love you, differently now, but in a way in which I'll never forget you or you. You are my two to miss, my two to smile about, and my two to always be a part of. Don't forget me; god knows you'll always have a place in my heart.