I'll listen.

Never say never.

But why? Why do we put so much on the line by always leaving doors open? We vow to never say never, to never condone or completely wish something away. What about the things in our lives that need to be willed away? Should I say never say never to heartbreak ten times over and the avalanche one loss caused me? I will say never. Only God and I know what face I smashed into the concrete of open door loss. But this is merely a realization at random.

I'm so sick of situations forcing realizations. I want to be a force on someone else. I'm sick when I see the months you spent happy amount to pennies kept in a jar right beside nothing. Is the slate really kept clean? Is this force really powerful enough to let you forget what it was like to forget it for awhile? I can't even fathom what's going on in that heart of yours, but just a few short hours ago you let go of one chapter of your life, and already you are so eager to reread the one that always has been your favorite. It's like you're one of those people that can't read an entire book; you skip to the end, but you don't find out whether the ending caught its happily ever after.

You don't know how bad I've always wanted to save you from this. You don't know how badly I've always wanted to save you from her. I wish you could know how hard it was for me not to follow you out that door, to turn you around. I know the way she dances in your downcast eyes, but I've never seen them sparkling quite the way they do when she's spinning amber circles through your vision. I wanted to lay down on the grass and do nothing but listen to absolutely everything you need an ear for. I wanted to do nothing but listen and think of any way I have stored in my mind to help; I wanted just to simply be there, be a best friend. It's not coincidence that I was halfway to you when the world came down, and I want you to know that you can sit beside me.

Three hundred and fifty days a year, give or take, I do what I can with the limitations that have proven so cruel, but for these next six that I have, I'm prepared to give you every piece of my mind or heart that you need, with the ability to hand deliver them. Do you know how amazing it feels, not having to miss you? Nothing compels a heart to care quite like the memory of everything you've been to me, and everything you mean to me. No matter how long silence may stretch or vision may strain, the title of best friend is one I don't revoke. I'll always be here for you. You know I'd do anything to hear that laugh that I've always found so endearing.

You're stronger than you ever get credit for, and as the saga rolls, you can count on me to be a constant. Keep letting yourself feel that refreshingly honest emotion you let loose. It'll save you, and I know you'd do anything to keep yourself strong. You've got a lot of willing help to keep you company. I love you; rest easier. You're doing more than just fine, you've done damn good. Never let that fight in you fade.