Here.

Seems like everyone has bigger and better things to do these days and I'm sitting on the sidewalk while the colors blur on the streets. I could count the number of ties I willingly hold onto on one hand. Is it so wrong to want so little from the places I came from? Everyone has someone out there, but I can't say that I do. I have a friend back home that I miss more than life and wish like hell would come here next year like all the crazy plan we've talked about. I miss you, and I'm sorry I can't be there in presence just yet. You're one of the few things I come home for.

I miss my mom and dad, but I call them everyday and it makes them more happy to know that I'm enjoying myself than it does to know that I miss them. I'm making a new life for myself because they taught me to. And I couldn't have asked for better guidance. I'm in love with my surroundings because all of my life I've been told it's okay to accept change. I adapt quickly. Move around a couple times and you learn that going someplace new isn't such a bad thing. I'm resilient.

At times I feel heartless because there are few things I miss. My closest friends have love to miss and time to devote to them, and in a way, I'm jealous because they have something so deep worth missing. I know I'm not cut out for that. Maybe it's selfishness that has me wanting only what's in front of me. When given the option of here and there, wouldn't you rather have what's more easily obtained? All this written to the tune of smacking lips and hearts beating louder than their ears can handle. Mine beats off pattern.

I don't know if I'm meant to be alone so much as I'm meant to be independent. I'm okay on my own. I don't want to be in love, and my constant talking about the lookers is a clear indication. Girls just want to have fun. Girls do what they want; boys do what they can. I do absolutely everything and spend hours doing nothing but watch my favorite show. I love living life like this. I love being able to go do something whenever I want, and I like being able to give blood and lay in bed for three hours. I would be perfectly fine if I could never go anywhere else but walking distance. An occasional visitor is all it would take to define personal perfection. Even in a crowded, booze-soaked stadium, in shuttle buses and cop lined villages, this place has the spunk to keep me captivated.

I'm home, and I'm eager to get even more settled in.