I really hate disliking things. I love loving things. So tell me, why exactly does every last little thing get on my nerves right now? I mean, I wanted to dropkick every customer at work. I chew out people for caring about me. I need sleep, or caffeine. I’ve been a cranky kid all day; it got so bad that I even caught ME calling myself a baby. I don't know how anyone could tolerate me; I don't know how anyone can stand being around me. Maybe it's the cover up I've worked so hard on. I’m putting up this front, and doing alright at it.
Here’s me breaking it down. I’m not strong. I’m damn good at acting like I am. I wish I was a miracle worker; I wish I was wise. Then I’d have the answers. But I don’t, and that frustrates me. I like being in the know, solving people’s problems. So why don’t I have the guts enough to seek ways to solve my own? Because I always back down, and that’s why I always end up feeling about like I do now. You think I’d learn, really. Maybe now’s the time I finally do. Probably not, but a girl can hope.
Here I was telling myself I’d grown up so much lately. Ha. I’m nothing more than a kid.
No comments:
Post a Comment