Contenders.

A look back. Fall air wraps around strands of my tossed hair and I'm feeling anxious. Beyond repair on the one hand and throwing myself at new memories, this is making your own happiness. All of a sudden, there you are. I knew nothing about you but the infamy you carried and the looks I approved. This was bad news for a mending heart, but I needed that night. I remember swings as the sun dropped and a dare that made my cheeks burn. I saw a picture the other day. That night, me and you. First of many. I remember when it all seemed so easy compared to what was behind me. I remember when it set me free. Then I remember five seconds ago and the thought on my mind and I remember that it still does. Insert profanity here.

My favorite guilty pleasure shoots my thoughts back at me in the form of three postcards. Usually I find one to relate to and latch on. Of course I'd hit above average. I should send one in. Postsecrets draw me in like the thought of a fresh tattoo. One of three, no one knows. Two of three, everyone can tell. My best friend laughs and points out its truth. Three of three is shared without the laugh. It's supposed to be a sad truth. Why did I smile when she turned her head?

Being young brought toys with squeezable hands and words on repeat. I was just trying to be brave like you. This young is grown and a hell of a lot more enticing. I don't drag 37 stuffed animals behind me when I wake up in the morning anymore (excuse the baby blankets, everyone has their comfort). Instead I drag my feet, opening my eyes to a day on repeat like those catchphrases the paw brought out. But no day is usual and I'm thriving in it. I'm in love with a distraction and my original intention is lost on me. I can't remember a day when it didn't mean everything to me.

I'm ignoring words and fighting body language. Apparently I'm more than deserved and set up for the worst. But I'm the wrong optimist and I let sunshine in through the blinds anyway. I always hope for the best, don't I? Some people never change. Some people prove they can. The lists are empty as I wait for you to fall under a category. Trouble slides across tender and I tap out.

I'm nothing if not whole, and nothing if not wholly prepared. I spite the posters on your behalf because I believe in something. It's operative. I'm ready for this idol to be false, but it doesn't shake the fact that I have faith. The odds are never always right. I'm expecting to be wrong, but I haven't laid down my life savings. I bet no one believes in you as much as you do. Except me, despite every reason not to. We choose where our beliefs are founded. I took root. My set is played out. Spotlight's on you.

Play me something honest.