No Matter, I'll Be Safe.

Two links rest two floors removed. Thank God I'm not occupying so large a space alone. My attention span is bouncing off the walls again, and every taste of focus is scattered when my phone lights up. A little white envelope torn at the corner played Jesus, and I feel healed. Is there a painkiller for too much thinking? Words come slow, and my sentences don't flow, but this is the beauty of words.

Definition isn't definite; I'm dictionary diving for cause and effect. I'll make 2 lists and title them "Publish" and "Hide." I am hiding, but I'm cranking out words. One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door. What's sadness? I think it's one of those kids I never got around to liking. I'll keep it that way. My best friend breaths sunshine and my addiction embodies it. Don't let the pale skin fool you; I'm sunbathing in the dead of winter.

I met you on a whim and I kept you the same way. Now this is as permanent as the ten lines hiding on the underside of my thumb. Inhibitions are firmly in place out of duty, but we wrecked them and broke the rules. I see the handcuffs but I'm not sorry. I'll serve my time but it won't change my ways. The defining moments we seek and conquer unveil just enough to let us know what gets us strong and what has our heads resting on toilet bowls instead of pillows. Or maybe we need a little of both.

For now I'll keep spinning till time plays clarifier. I'm safe and sound in the absolute uncertainty. Five little poisons screaming my name. I think I'll reply. Black out and here I am with a repeat performance. Round 2. Write in a double meaning. And I thought I was sly. I'm off to chase another teenage endeavor and my best friends are holding my hand. We'll make a cake and celebrate the holiday we deny. This is life, and life is good.

No matter what lies ahead.